Monday, May 3, 2010

Teenage girls and their moods

I don't understand the constant fluctuation between happy and mad emotions of teenage girls. I know that at one time in my life I was a teenage emotional roller coaster...but I don't remember it being anything like what my girls are.

Is it like childbirth? Do you suddenly forget the bad parts once your finished going through it? Ok, maybe not suddenly but quick enough.

The amazing drama that unfolds every morning begins with the arguments over brushes, make-up, clothes, and of course bathroom time and space. All of which I could really care less about as long as they all make it out of the house dressed and made up (I was going to say groomed but that sounded too much like a dog) in a manner which is appropriate before their buses leave.

The personal styles and lack of style that each one has is entertaining to watch. Haley being 6 (excuse me... 6 and 352 days) has a style of comfort. Clothes that match is more of secondary concern (if a concern at all). I find myself talking to her the way I did my Great Grandmother regarding color choices and patterns. "Yes, they are all shades of pink, but all of the 6 shades of pink at once are just too much." or "I understand that the polka dots on your shirt and the strips on your pants are the same colors but your so busy it hurts my eyes to look at you." And of course weather appropriate is a difficult stretch (long sleeves in 98 degree 100% humidity isn't the best choice, as is shorts and a tank top in 30 degree weather).

The twins and Macy are much more interesting. Jessie for example really doesn't care if her socks are the same color as long as they match in size (at the carnival this weekend she took her shoes off for a ride and I wasn't surprised to see her wearing one green with multi colored polka dots sock and once solid pink sock). Tori likes to wear her black ankle high chunky boots with jean shorts (and its actually very cute). Macy drives me nuts with her cotton dresses and jeans underneath! Her argument is she likes the dresses and she likes the jeans.

Once they are out the door, I sigh and wooosaaaw. Until 3:15 when they burst in the door. You never know what they will be like when they come in. Its a grab bag. But the emotions are generally low key until chore time. And then, oh my goodness, everything that has happened the entire day is made into a dramatic emotional show! Thankfully the universe generally only dishes one basket case to me at a time.

How to handle each blow up is a mystery every time. Some are brief, like opening a hot oven, you knew it was hot in there but somehow leaned in a little too close and had to jump back just a little to complete your task. Other times are like the movie 2012, out of nowhere solar flares erupt and its the end of the world as we all know it! There can be a recovery but it will take time, patience, you may loose a few good people along the way, and it may cost you billions just to be saved.

I am not sure what it is about chore time that brings all this out. Is it the lack of wanting to do chores, the sudden change of focus from themselves to the family, disruption of doing what they were focused on, or maybe the negative association of chores? I don't know. But they complete their chores every night. I wonder if they even have a clue that it would be half the energy to just do the chores without the drama?

We generally have dinner all together every night. Occasionally I call a FFYS(which stands for fend for yourself) when something distracts me from cooking (Dr apt, illness, or occasional frustration). Most of the time dinner is just mildly annoying with disruptions. And most of the time it is me who is irritated and frustrated with them. The noise levels can get high which usually means I will yell to get them under control. Which means Doug will wince and roll his eyes. Then he will generally make huge exaggerated threats in hopes they will listen so I won't yell again.

I have found that if one of the girls helps with Ethan's bath after dinner than I can actually clean the kitchen up before bed. I hate a messy kitchen. When you wake up the next morning and your kitchen is a mess, it just sets the tone for the whole day (for me). They, for the most part, like to help with bath time. And we rotate thru, everyone taking a turn.

Then its bedtime! And you would think that we would have problems with the kids watching TV, a movie, or playing on the computer (because they each have a computer and TV in their room). But those are not the addiction which keeps them up late...they read. How the hell can you get mad at your child for reading? Well, I do now because the mornings are much worse if they stay up all night reading. But reading, that's what they can't stop doing. Grandma Ginger helps feed their addiction by receiving wish list and fulfilling them. We get books in the mail, and whoever its for, seriously, jumps up and down, grabs the book, and runs off to their room to read! Its not illegal, harmful to their bodies, but somehow it seems to be just as addictive as crack!

You think it stops there with the books? NO! Then there are the fights that occur because one wants to talk about the book they are reading and the one they are talking to doesn't want to hear it because they are waiting to read the same book. And then occasionally a book disappears from the readers room in mid read... this is usually because one of the other girls doesn't want to wait anymore and takes it.

We are lucky that all of our children do their homework on their own, get good grades, and care about school all on their own. We do help when asked but honestly with 4 school age girls, we don't get asked for help very often!

So back to my original topic... you would think that being a girl who at one time was a teenager would help me have a better understanding of my girls who are currently in a teenage state, but I don't. I don't get it at all! Why does everything have to be so dramatic and emotional? You never know how the day will go with teenage girls and their moods!


  1. I remember we fought over the bathroom, the mirror, the hair dryer,...and we also drove Mom nuts bickering and complaining about each other. I was a very emotional tween, but I also had hormone problems...and issues with our parents that were not being addressed.

    Are you saying childbirth removes these memories? If so, I need to have another. The first one didn't work!

  2. LOL, no I was simply comparing the memory lapse of pain to the lack of understanding I seem to be having... But hey I have 5 kids, if you want another feel free to put this argument in your arsenal!
    Love you