So, its Friday evening and I am kicking back relaxing. What that means is my three year old son is finally asleep so I can watch what I want on TV or play on my computer uninterrupted. Happy time for Mommy. I am having a lovely time and spent a little of it on Facebook. I came across a lovely picture of a new mommy feeding her baby girl. Now by my title you already know that when I say feeding her baby, I mean breastfeeding. And yes, the picture has some side boob and baby attached.
The comments attached to this lovely photo are thankfully overall positive. Which I will attribute to the fact that the people sharing the photo are sharing it because they think its lovely and it originated by someone who knows this new mommy and baby.
I am surprised by the negative comments. Not because they are negative, I expect that along with the positive comments. I am surprised because the comments are not anonymous. And lets face it, it takes a pretty brave person to wave their moron flag for all the world to see. Yep, I said moron flag. I really didn't want to argue with them on this lovely photo so I decided; Hey, I have a blog. I have been meaning to blog more. And I promised myself I would blog about things regardless of how offensive they may be to some people. So, I will use first names for the comments, their real first names. Not because I want to out or protect any one's moron flag from being identified, but because I simply don't want to get them mixed up as we go here. (although coming up with fake names would have been fun)
Oh, and those comments where someone said "I completely agree with such and such" and that was it. They don't even warrant being addressed. You have an opinion, are willing to say it out loud, but you can't come up with your own intelligent words on it? So I won't have one for you.
We will start at the beginning with negative comment number one. Kori said, "Disgusting. Don't want to see that on Facebook".
So let me get this straight Kori, seeing a picture of a mother feed her child the way that nature intended is disgusting? Yes, you can see side boob. Yes the baby's mouth is on her mother's nipple (which you can't see). I have to disagree with you (shocking I know). I think this is the perfect place for this picture. Facebook is a social networking site for friends and families.
If a picture of a scantily clad (if that) clothed young (and often times not so young) woman with side boob, front boob, and her ass hanging out in a very suggestive pose is not considered offensive and we have to flip through those, then I can't see how this photo is disgusting. Did you post a comment on your last girlfriend's self portrait from above? Where you can see her belly button from the top of her shirt? Did you let her know that it was 'disgusting, don't want to see this on Facebook'? Yeah, didn't think so.
Negative comment number two: Jacee said, "I just don't understand why this needs to be on Facebook. I think breastfeeding is wonderful and natural, but it isn't for facebook pictures."
Jacee, somehow your comment concerns me even more than Kori's. You have made a deal with yourself that breastfeeding is natural and wonderful, however nobody needs to see it. If this picture were of mommy holding baby with a bottle in her mouth, I bet that would be acceptable to you. Why is anyone so afraid of this woman's boobs? She isn't concerned. She is happily nursing her new baby. Its not like this picture was posted in error or in a malicious manner. Have you looked in the mirror lately... with the lights on? You have boobs. Spend some time with them, they aren't scary.
Negative comment number three: Heather said, "unnecessary. I'm not even friends with this chic and her entire boob just popped up on my page. If you insist on sharing intimate photos like this then check your privacy settings! I don't choose to see your bare breast. Thank you."
Heather (not all Heather's can be awesome), first of all her bare breast and entire boob did not pop onto your page. Unless you are commenting on a completely different picture than the one on your updates. Miley Cirus showed just as much (although she has less square footage) side boob and more in her magazine shoots. How is that acceptable over a woman feeding her child and showing some skin?
I believe that this woman is completely comfortable with her breastfeeding picture being seen, which is why her privacy settings allowed it to be shared. Your settings however are within your own control. If you do not want to see this woman's (side) breast, then don't click on the picture to enlarge it and take the time to comment on it while staring at it. Yeah, you were staring at it...probably with your mouth open. Don't be jealous, if you ever have a baby your boobs will get bigger too. (Maybe I am onto something here...are all the women who find breastfeeding offensive just jealous because they dislike their breasts or feel they weren't blessed with enough?)
Negative comment number four: Amber said, "Absolutely beautiful thing, but this is something that should stay between you and baby. It's beautiful but should be kept private."
Amber, Amber, Amber. Amber is like Jacee
Again, if mommy was using a bottle to feed her baby Amber would feel differently. Moms who bottle feed their babies don't have people avoiding eye contact with them, they don't get all quiet and a wonderful calm environment to feed their child. Mothers who bottle feed their children quite often hold conversations with complete strangers about their child. These strangers have no problem complimenting mom on her adorable baby and asking questions. Yet the mother who is working her ass off to keep that blanket in place so as not to offend you with the sight of her breast or her child attached to her breast is in the middle of something that should not be interrupted and must remain private.
I belong to the breastfeeding moms club, although my children are all past that stage of life now. I have some very shocking news for you, we don't work so hard to keep ourselves covered for ourselves. Our modesty levels were adjusted quite abruptly during labor and delivery. Did you know that at home we don't even use a blanket? GASP! Shocking I know. Yeah that's right, we honestly could care less if you saw our breast. We work so hard so as to avoid having to deal with arrogant and ignorant people who are so uncomfortable with themselves that they are offended by a mother feeding and nurturing her child the way nature (and many might say God) intended.
Although yes, we do enjoy the quiet time with our darling baby while nursing. I would like to inform you that in public, in the nice sitting rooms Nordstroms provides, and such it is perfectly ok to make eye contact with us, it is okay to think our baby is beautiful, it is okay to hold a conversation with us. We can talk and nurse at the same time. We are like super heroes...we can do many things all at the same time.
Our final two negative comments, number five and six both come from the same person: Joey said (and I am quoting here) "awe fuck it...those are some Tig ole' bitties...okay, I feel better". And then later on down the line Joey made another comment. So lets just do these together. He also said, "aight Im look for some babymakin photos...see if all u treehuggers think if thats 'beautiful'".
First of all, I am so confused by how people communicate their comments. Joey appears to not be able to spell or speak for that matter the English language. But he punctuated ole' ? (He must have a smarter than him phone.)
We are all so relieved you feel better for getting that important comment out of your system. I am sure that nobody else, including the new mommy realized just how large her breast have gotten. What would we have done without your crude observation? It is possible that many of these negative comments are related to self esteem and breast size as I said before. When a woman has a baby and begins the breastfeeding process nature gives her bigger breasts than she had before. And its quite common for a woman's breasts to be larger than her baby's head. There is skill involved with breastfeeding, if it were easy everyone would do it.
Oh, and I think there is a very big difference between the making of a baby, which is a sexual act and the nourishing of that baby, which is a nurturing act. Most of the negative comments made by men in general regarding breastfeeding are usually tied to the inability to see a woman's breast and not react sexually. I suppose for men who are unable to separate the act of breastfeeding from being sexually attractive it may be rather embarrassing, in which case would explain the hostility they express with a woman feeding her child.
As for treehuggers? Although many mothers who do nurse their children do regard themselves as super liberal people, there are many many women who do not think of themselves as such. You don't have to be a "treehugger" to want to provide whats best for your baby. The more uptight you are the less comfortable you are with yourself. So I guess you may be more careful and less sharing of these type of moments. And that may lead to people believing that only treehuggers appreciate breastfeeding.
Fathers who are accepting, supportive, and see the beauty of breastfeeding are not all super liberal people either. Sure there are those who are, but a man who is mature and intelligent (regardless of treehugging tendencies) knows and understands how much healthier it is for his child to breastfeed, both physically and psychologically.
Thanks so much Joey, for making it clear that flying your moron flag is normal every day type of thing for you.
(And a very special shout out to Brittany who said, "I couldn't have said it better Joey"... I highly doubt that.)
Now I am going to 'out' my brother in law here because without him sharing this picture, I wouldn't be up writing this post. And I must admit, his comment made me laugh. It made me laugh because he is 100% correct and says things so very well. I love him.
My favorite positive male comment: Dustin said, "lol angry about breastfeeding pictures on Facebook. Talk about white people problems. I approve of breastfeeding and also boobs in general. You should too! They are good for you!
So if you are reading this post here on my lovely blog and you are uncomfortable or disgusted by a picture of breastfeeding or a woman who is breastfeeding in public (doing her damnedest to keep that blanket in place while baby pulls it this way and that) maybe you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why? Why are you afraid of boobies? They aren't going to get you.
If you are reading this post and do not think that breastfeeding is disgusting or needs to be completely private, welcome! I would love for you to kick back and stay awhile. The post preceding this one is a very light hearted conversation about Ninjas. You are the type of person I would love to have following and reading my blog.
Men, if you get aroused when you see a woman breastfeeding it probably means you were not breastfed as a baby. I am sorry you missed out on that. It may also stress the importance of breastfeeding our children to avoid this downfall. Hmmm.
For the woman who is reading this and completely disagrees, thinks that no one should have to see a mother nurse their baby. Not even under a blanket...because it repulses you, seek help. Please for yourself and for those poor people who have to live their lives coming into contact with you day in and day out. They are boobs, we were made this way, we were made to feed our babies with breast milk out of our boobs! There is something else going on with you if this truly bothers you and young girls wearing next to nothing, taking pictures of themselves in the mirror, and posting them on Facebook never get your attention as unacceptable.
The toughest one is the woman who thinks breastfeeding is natural and beautiful however she thinks no one but mommy and baby should ever see it. Do you have some self esteem issues? No, seriously? Think about it, nobody has to know you stopped and thought about it. You can even leave me a nasty comment to throw off anyone who might jump to conclusions. This is your opportunity to help yourself.
How is it more acceptable for you to look at pictures of friends, family members, strangers, and celebrities with their boobs and asses hanging out in suggestive poses? Why is a sexually alluring (well most on Facebook are not, they are just sad oh please tell me I'm pretty women who are in need of some serious attention) photo more acceptable than a mother feeding her child? And why do you care enough to leave a comment about the breastfeeding one and not the slutty pictures of your friends? Maybe it's time for a change, for yourself.
If by chance the lovely new mommy in the picture actually reads this (you don't know it could happen) Congratulations and enjoy your wonderful time with baby. Its a lovely picture.