Ready to Lighten Up...

As I lay in bed unable to sleep, even though my eyelids are droopy and my body is exhausted, I realized after reading over my last few entries that I am starting to become negative and boring. And although my life is stressful and hectic and chaotic, it is also fraught with humor and happiness. I have no intention of becoming that blogger who only vents the crazy stressful and negative stuff that burns out the frayed nerve endings firing in my brain causing actual pain and disgust.

I love to laugh and I sincerly appreciate reading blogs of those who are honest, sincere, and most importantly make me laugh out loud! My favorite moments in life are the ones that cause milk to shoot out my nose followed by coughing and wheezing because I did that honest snort laugh that I was completely unprepared for! What the hell happened to that lady? (I use the term lady very losely, as its pretty rare to see milk shooting out of the nose of a 'lady'. I could be wrong though, maybe the Queen of England enjoys a good milk snort?)

So, here I am, sleep deprived and cranky...but channeling all the energy I have left into lightening things up and doing my best to see the humor in the chaos bubble.

Lets start with one of the random, funny, and chaos lined things happening in our lives and see how that goes, shall we:

We were at Home Depot the other day. I was pacing back and forth trying to ignore all the electrical advice my husband was getting from the certified electrician who chooses to work for 1/5 the pay at Home Depot. (I wanted to ask, because I am a curious bitch, but I refrained.) My husband'e eyes were lit up like a kid at Christmas. I gave up pacing and just let him plan and play. My only two requests; 1. Please don't electricute yourself dear, and 2. Please don't burn the house down. (We have homeowners insurance and medical insurance, so stop freaking out already! No, no I am not talking to you. I am talking to me.) Anyway, to distract myself I started looking at all the wonderful outdoor furniture and furnishings. I sat in this chair and then that chair, I played with cushions in this chair and rocked in that one over there. And then I found this great Gazebo. I wanted it immediatly. So when my husband was done with his happy time planning the wiring of our basement we bought it (along with all those electrical supplies he needed).
We have had a couple of really nice weather days, but it also snowed once. What the hell? It snowed after we had two days of 70+ degree weather. So, the box with the Gazebo is still in the back of my husbands truck. I have been thinking and planning a way to put up this gazebo. You know get that nice outdoor carpet from Costco that is super cheap (because who wants to deal with dirt outside), I have been looking on Craigs list for comfortable outdoor furniture that isn't $2,000, and planning in my mind some relaxing time to be spent in our lovely backyard. And then boom, we have another couple of 70+ degree days, its beautiful outside, the trees are blooing, everything is getting pretty and green, and then it happens. IT happens. And when IT happened I realized something. I don't like being outside. I don't want to go out there. And you can't make me.

Now you are probably asking yourself what IT could be. What could possibly take this lovely lady (again using the term lady, snort) from planning and excitment to forget it, not happening? Well I will tell you, BUGS. Not just bugs, but bugs that bite and sting and chase and terrorize. Wasps, wasps happened. In two days we went from lovely warmth to what the holy hell is that? Oh, Shit! Close the door!!! You know that crazed adrenaline feeling you get when you are just sure the wasps have begun attack formation and are coming at you?

Now I will admit I have never been a bug person. I don't run screaming cowering in a corner until a big strong man can come save me from the big bad bugs. I grew up in a pretty rural area and we had animals and plenty of bugs. However, apparently we had California bugs. I like California bugs. California bugs are those bugs that while they may have the annoying job of bugging you to do, they are also very concerned with their size and appearance (as most Californians are). Here in Virginia, we have scary southern humidity bugs. Bugs that seem to have fallen into a vat of nuculear waste of some kind and have developed super buggy powers along with super buggy size. In our bedroom I can see through the (closed) white blinds the wasps buzzing around trying to build their nest. You can actually see their shape and size through closed blinds!

My husband is fearless when it comes to bugs. He has no problems standing less than 10 feet from a new wasp nest during the middle of the day and is more than happy to spray that sucker down with wasp killer. Not me, nope. As a matter of fact I would appreciate you letting me know dear, when you plan to do these things so I can go lock myself (with the baby) in the bathroom. Just in case any scary, radio active, super sized, freshly bug sprayed wasps get into the house and decide to seek out that bitch who bought all that wasp killer and bite the shit out of her. (If everything is really bigger in Texas, I sure as shit am not visiting there, ever!!! I'm just saying.)

But this is me trying to lighten up and relax. So I guess I will call the big buggy exterminators and see how much they will charge to rid my life and home of these mutant wasps. I will try, I just have this feeling that I will be spending my time inside again this year. (Meanwhile, can't you just picture me and the baby sitting on the bathroom floor playing?)

(on a side note, since I am lightening up, I gave up on trying to get my spell check to work. So I apologize for the spelling errors that are probably rampant throughout this post.)

Enough is Enough...How Much More Can We Take?!?

I am no longer just the mom of a type 1 Diabetic and two Asthma kids. Nope. Someone, somewhere decided I needed to expand my horizons and be more involved in  health centered issues. I  feel as though I am being gravely misrepresented to whomever is in charge up there. I have heard the old saying, "God only gives you what you can handle", well I have had my fill thank you very much. I am way past my saturation limit. You can just hold onto whatever else you are thinking of throwing my way. I am in no mood to cooperate, enough is enough!

My 2 year old son and I went to the allergist this morning. The doctor did a few tests and confirmed what I had already known in my heart to be true, my son is allergic to peanuts. I was really hoping that I was wrong and that it would be just a contact issue. Nope. He had a substantial reaction to the controlled test.

My husband, in his very hopeful way, asked me if he will grow out of it. Most likely not. Research  indicates that 20% of children do grow out of their allergy to peanuts. However, if your child has Eczema he is most likely going to have the allergy for his entire life and it will most likely get more severe as time goes on. Wonderful. While we were at the allergist he checked Ethan's Eczema and gave us some new ways to manage it. So I guess we won't be growing out of this one.

So on our way home we stopped at the pharmacy, filled the prescription for 2 Epi Jr pens, and bought 2 mini Mr Potato heads and a Buzz Lightyear zapper (because my son was very well behaved and I felt terrible he had to have his back poked and prodded to confirm his allergy).

Recently in the news a school in Florida had parents protesting the "extreme" measures staff was going through to protect a child with a severe peanut allergy. Since I am very familiar with federal requirements of publicly funded schools (and such) I have to say that parents who have been demanding the child with the allergy be removed from the school to be home schooled, went a bit too far. Not only does the school have no say in any such matter, neither do they (parents). I understand that rumors and false information was being reported and many people were just plain misinformed. That probably accounted for a lot of the protesting. For example they were not disinfecting children's faces and/or hands with Clorox wipes. (Which as a parent I would have had a huge problem with and protested as well). I wonder though, if the parents who were protesting and demanding this student be home schooled, if they had a child with a similar situation, how would they feel? How would their child feel? Did they stop and think of that? It is highly possible that this child's parents could not and do not have the resources to home school or provide private school. Which is why there are laws protecting students in the first place. These parents pay the same taxes the protesting parents pay.

Anyway, since this situation I fear children with peanut allergies will be even more segregated than they already are. As a child it is hard enough to fit in and get along with everyone else. When you have another factor that singles you out more so than the rest of the kids, its that much harder on you.

I also understand that children can be horrible to each other, however children don't just pick up this stuff on their own, they get it from their parents. Children hear what their parents are saying and discussing. They pick up on their parents opinions and make them their own. Parents who are racist pass racism on to their children, parents who are snobs pass snobbish behavior onto their children, and parents who are intolerant of people with disabilities and the accommodations made for those with disabilities pass on that intolerance to their children. (of course there are exceptions but in general kids learn this stuff from their parents).

Let me give you an example that is easily understood by everyone. When my twins were in kindergarten (so many years ago) we lived in a very nice neighborhood. I worked very hard as a single mother who went to school full time and worked full time. We rented a very nice 3 bedroom apartment in this lovely neighborhood of single family homes. I loved our apartment. We had a pool, a gardener, a playground, and a safe area for the children to be. Well I was in their class one day and the girls were sharing with the class something (I can't remember what). A child near me leaned over to her friend and whispered (not so quietly), "they rent".  What the holy hell do kindergartners care whether someone owns a home or rents? They don't, but their parents have all kinds of opinions that their kids picked up on quite easily.

We had an older station wagon my father had bought for me when I left my ex-husband. It worked well for a mother of three babies. It wasn't fancy and it wasn't glamorous, but it ran well and had power everything! So we loved it. Well I finally got a new car. On the way to school the first day in our new car I heard one twin tell the other, "Now Danny can't give us a hard time for having an old car".  What the holy hell do kindergartners care about how old someones car is? They don't, but their parents have quite a few opinions about them. 

So those are two very easy to understand examples of how we as parents can pass our opinions down to our children. Honestly, those were harmless compared to most of what happens in the world today.

So, anyway, I am just very concerned that my poor baby who is now officially allergic to peanuts is destined to sit at the "peanut free" lunch table instead of with classmates and friends. He will be that student other kids roll their eyes about because any snacks that come into their classroom will have to be "peanut free" (of course they will have practiced that eye roll after watching mom and/or dad do it). And my worst fear is his peanut allergy may someday be used against him in a bullying, hazing, or just plain assaulting situation. I know, I know...I have this gift of seeing worst case scenarios. Believe it or not I am actually a very positive person. I think that being able to see the worst case easily in my mind helps prepare me for bad outcomes and helps me handle them in a positive manner should they happen.

Our next hurdle is the appointment for one of my twins with the Pediatric Rhematologist later this month. We know she is suffering with Raynauds Syndrome (another auto immune disorder where your body randomly shuts off circulation to fingers and /or toes. They turn white, then blue, and then flush red when circulation is restored.). What we don't know is if it is just Raynauds or a precursor to another much more serious auto immune disorder such as Lupus. So I will report later this month on that one.

So for now, I am putting in my formal request of ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

Teavana, My New Addiction

My husband and I were in the mall recently shopping for new shoes for him. We were going to meet our daughter who was playing with the 2 year old and 7 year old in the play area, when my husband suddenly said, "Oh, let's go in this store. I was here last week and I think you will like it".

Now it is important to understand that my husband is not a shopper. He dislikes being in any store and especially dislikes having to be in a store shopping that is crowded with people. So I was a little shocked he was interested in going into this store at all. Not only were there a lot of people in the small store but there were also employees strategically located in every corner for samples. So it took me a moment to get over the initial shock to even register what store we were in.

The store was Teavana. It smelled wonderful and the samples were very good. They were of course the perfect blends of different teas with the perfect blends of sweetener (not too sweet but just enough to cut through any bitterness). After trying a couple of teas I looked at my husband with confusion. "Why are we in here?" He told me he liked the samples the last time he had been in and wanted me to try them. Okay, again I am still confused. "So, you want to buy tea?" I was confused because we drink coffee mostly. He likes black coffee and I like froufrou coffee. I have a tea pot my mother gave me, but I am pretty sure it is decorated with Christmas stuff and is buried in the back of a cabinet.

He finally said, "I know you like that peach tea when we go out to eat and I just thought maybe we could get some tea. You know give them a try. Do you like them? I would rather spend money on tea than Starbucks." (My husband hates Starbucks. I usually only get maybe one a week, but that adds up at 5$ a pop).
"Well, yeah I like them. But we this is all loose tea and that means we would have to buy a tea maker along with the tea."
With a smile on his face he says, "That's okay. What kind do you want to get?"

Now I rarely buy myself anything and I generally use grocery shopping to satisfy my want to buy things. We have 5 kids and I don't work. There isn't much I need. So my husband who enjoys buying me things when he can find something I want or like was enjoying himself. So this is one of those opportunities where he was able to spend money on me and make me smile. Technically its food...technically its healthy...technically its worth trying.

So we bought a tea maker (for use with loose tea) and a few different teas. They included a little booklet with all of the teas they offer and information on accessories for tea. That was the clincher.

When we got home, I made tea. I enjoyed the simplicity of mixing the teas I wanted and following the very simple directions for each type of tea. We mainly got white tea and the roobios were white and red so the caffeine levels are very low. I was hooked instantly.

That night I went online to Teavana.com and ordered more tea, tins, and the German Rock Sugar (which is very yummy). I did find a promotional code that saved me 10$. I also split my order in 2 so I could save the 10$ twice (shipping was free) and each order came with a sample my husband loved. After I submitted my order I ran across an application for my iPhone that has tea mixes, tea timers, and information on all the teas they carry. Hey, it was free.

When my orders came I was like a kid opening a Christmas gift. I put all the tea in the tins (air tight to protect the tea), made a place for the tea in our glass cabinet, and immediately made tea. YUM!

I have had tea every day since we got it. I drink tea instead of snacking, which is helpful. I really didn't think about the tea vs snacking until yesterday. Drinking tea helps me get my water each day and although I am not a big soda drinker, the tea has made me skip any and all soda. The majority of the teas we got are white teas, so there is very little caffeine.I use the German Rock Sugar which is a much nicer flavor than white sugar and its not processed like white sugar.

The only downside to all this tea drinking...I have to pee all the time! Seriously, it feels like all the time. Its worse than drinking beer. I suppose I am drinking more fluids, so that increases potty trips. I am not sure if tea is a diuretic (without caffeine) or not because everything I read was linked to the caffeine. Did you know that white teas are not only good for skin and hair but also teeth? Tea naturally prevents plaque. Wow, I had no idea.

Well, I am hooked. Now my challenge is to stay out of the Teavana store and not buy tea online until we are out. Because there are so many different flavors and I want to try them all!

I will leave you with this...Many of you have heard me talk about my husband referring (lovingly) to me as his 'uppity elitist bitch' (it is because I am so picky and never seem to be satisfied with what I have, always wanting more...better stuff, better service, better environment) well after I fell in love with all this tea my husband tells me...
"Well, I figured you would like it. What could be more uppity elitist than loose tea sold by the ounce?"

Pain and the Pain Pill Haze

So things went well with the surgery. (It was one of those girlie area type surgeries, so I have no intention actually talking about the surgery itself). I am in bed being pampered by my wonderful husband. The kids have their extortion bribery chore charts they have been doing pretty well sticking to. My baby doll (2.5 year old son who is a total momma's boy) is having a hard time understanding why mommy won't play like she normally does, but he is being pretty good as well.

I am in pain. I have pain pills. I am taking my pain pills. So actually at the moment (if I don't move) I am not in pain. If I move then its a whole other story. I don't care for the fog that comes with pain pills or the way you doze off without realizing it until you wake up. I think I did just that a moment ago, ha ha. One minute I am typing and the next I'm lifting my head up off the pillow. So I don't like having this hazy no control over my own mind feeling. However, I do dislike something much more than the haze...PAIN. I am very much against it. If there is anything I can do to avoid pain, I will. So I am hazy and foggy.

I was trying to think of something funny, brilliant, or at least entertaining to write today. I still have not come up with anything. Its raining and dreary out, there is nothing to watch on TV, and I am bored. I am so bored that I actually cleaned up a little when I was downstairs for a snack. My husband asked me what I was doing and I actually said just cleaning up after myself. I was cleaning up after more than just myself but I didn't want to get reprimanded so I fibbed and stopped cleaning.

I am laying in bed watching Red (which is a great action/comedy movie) and about to fall into that comatosed state again. Please forgive any run-on sentences (that are beyond my normal ones) and grammer/spelling issues in this lovely action packed post. Oxycodone is my friend until the pain is gone and it turns out Oxycodone is against good grammer, correct spelling, and things making sense in general. Oxycodone is that passive aggressive friend who somehow always manages to get their way.

I will hopefully be clear enough to write something coherent soon.  Night all.

Trauma...oh the Trauma of it all!

trauma :

1. (Psychology) a powerful shock that may have long-lasting effects

2. (Medicine / Pathology) any bodily injury or wound

My husband has a special kind of sense of humor. I love it personally, its been described as a dry humor laced with strong sarcasm. I think that is only because there are times (even for me) when it is difficult to tell whether he is joking or serious. He has a very stoic demeanor for his public face. He is a disabled veteran, he spent 10 years in the Air Force. He has that serious soldier attitude in his body language, the kind that puts immediate fear in teen aged boys. (Which is obviously a good thing since we have 4 daughters). I will share a huge secret with you, shhhh, don't tell anyone. My husband has a sweet, soft, and gooey heart. He prefers people to think he is mean and tough. But he isn't.

So anyway, my husband and I were discussing the surgery I will be having Friday afternoon. We were discussing how to get our older 4 children to help with housework and our 2 year old son during my recovery time. (We fully plan to bribe and extort our children into helping.) My wonderful husband will work from home as much as he can to help out as much as he can. One of the biggest challenges is I will not be able to lift up our 2 year old son for 4-6 weeks. Wow, that's a long time. Especially since our son is a true mamma's boy.

My husband laughs and pops off with this "Poor little guy is going to be traumatized. First he broke his little arm, then losses his boobs (my husbands reference to the fact that I weaned our son from nursing, charming, huh?), he gets his cast taken off (he was very angry they were taking his Buzz Lightyear arm off), then he had 3 front teeth pulled (along with other dental work done while under general anesthesia), and now his mommy won't be able to pick him up. We might as well start him sleeping in his own room since we are taking everything else away".

I will not be ending our co-sleeping, I am not ready to give that up. But my husband is right on all the other stuff. In just over one month all of the above did happen to our son. Will he be traumatized from the above list? I doubt it. Well, at least not as traumatized as we have been by everything he went through (ok, mostly it was me who was traumatized from it all, not my husband. He's a big strong man!)and next list of things our adorable son has done in less than a month that has scared, irritated, aggrivated, and hurt us.

There are many falls: from laundry baskets, tables, couches, chairs, his sisters arms, and our bed. There's the haircut he gave himself (a day after paying to have if professionally done), the shampoo incident (pink shampoo dumped in the hallway and our room while my husband could have swore he was just playing), the toothpaste tube emptied in the sink and on the floor and then tracked into the living room to tell me it was all over the place, (my husbands personal favorite) the packing peanuts he found in a box in our closet and spread all over our room in a blink of an eye, the many cups of liquid dumped on me or the floor (which he followed each time with the crazy scientist laugh), the cabinet hiding (he crawls into a cabinet and hides while I search everywhere for him, usually it ends when I hear the giggle from his hiding spot), his hugs he gives me when he climbs behind my back and then grabs my hair, pulls, and counters me from going backwards by putting his knees in my lower back (this one actually requires the help of my husband as I can't move when he does it), that time he put two dvds into my husbands PS3 (they came out ok, and it works fine, but it sure made a funky noise while they were both in there), and of course my personal favorite the random headbutts I receive which are generally followed by rubbing noses, cheek against cheek, and kisses. There are so many more things that happen on a day to day basis that scare the hell out of me and we recover from. I just can't remember them all (mental block maybe). Boys sure are different than girls, I can say that with complete certainty.


On another subject, I seem to have eliminated the trauma from the Mommy Wars (the women who felt it necessary to either comment or email me all about how wrong I was in my opinion and experience with my son and his poor little teeth). I am also thrilled to report that after I posted a list of the things I am for and against I didn't lose any followers. Thank you to my readers and followers, I like to believe that we can all have different views, opinions, and feelings on big and little issues and still be friends! You all ROCK!