Every Mom's Nightmare...Do You Have a Plan?

I remember my first anxiety attack holding my first newborn baby in a public area. I had horrible visions of somebody hurting her, taking her, or the possibility I may not be able to protect her. I talked to my mom about all these horrible thoughts and fears I was having. She assured me that every new mother goes through similar anxieties. She told me that my world had been changed in a huge way and my job as a mother came with overwhelming concern and worry. She told me to get used to it, but to know moms everywhere are dealing with the same wories and fears.

Okay, so I know now that she was right. There is that rush of uncertainty, that fear I may not be able to protect my baby or child  from kidnappers, carjackers, or psychopaths randomly shooting people. As mothers we deal with our worries and fears each in our own ways. We manage and move on with our lives.

Yesterday I was watching the news and talking to my husband about the most recent public shooting. The one in Carson City Nevada at IHOP. I answered a few questions the best I could for my oldest daughter. And it hit me...HARD! Those fears and anxieties we had (and still have occassionaly) that may or may not have been credible at the time, are now becoming seriously credible!

For a moment stop and think about that.

Over the last year there have been many shootings in very public places. I don't need to make a list here, we have all read and seen the news stories. From meals out, grocery shopping, and even loading the kids in the car in a parking lot; the risk of being caught in a violent situation seems to be going up.

I told my daughter that I often times resist going out as a family because these fears are now becoming real threats. It isn't JUST the fact that as a family of 7, a dinner out even somewhere as simple as Olive Garden wracks up a $120 + bill and the chaos of eating out with children ranging in age from 3 to 16 is more work for me out than having the control of our own enviornment at home. (Those are both very serious reasons why we don't go out much at all though).

Now there is a real concern and threat that we may get stuck in a horrible situation of violence. If we were out to breakfast at an IHOP, for example (which is a restaurant our children enjoy and the chosen example for obvious reasons) we would be spread out around a large rectangular table in the middle of the dining room. Seven people just don't fit in one of those nice comfy booths. If a crazed gunman were to come in and start shooting, how could I protect my family? Who would grab the baby? If one was in the restroom would they stay and hide in there? How would we make sure everyone got down and didn't just freeze in fear?

I am not trying to incite panic or encourage people not to go out with their families and I don't mean to sound like a crazy woman. But while I was talking to my husband about the recent shooting, I made a sarcastic remark about having a family plan. One of his eyebrows went up, he gave me that look (that you may be on to something look), and I realized that isn't a bad idea.

Our children hear about these attacks on TV, from friends, online news sources, and of course their parents talking about it. Its not a big secret. There is no reason to try and hide reality from them. So why not have a family plan in case of an emergancy outside the home? They have lockdown drills in schools, earthquake drills, fire drills, and such. So why shouldn't we have our own plan if something bad happens?

We are a family of 7, as I said before. Our ages range from 40 to 3. If we are in Target and the power goes out in a thunder storm and their back up power fails (like it did last month) my children need to know that standing in the isle screaming at the top of their lungs is not part of our plan. Yes, my 8 year old did that. (The funny part was that 3 minutes before the power went out she was asking me what would happen if the lights went out from the storm. I of course told her all about the back up generators and how everything would be just fine. Then boom...total darkness and multiple screaminig kids! Then everyone pulled out their cell phones/flash lights and made their way slowly to the front of the store. So much for backup generators.)

Anyway, we decided to have a family meeting and discuss it with our kids. Every family has their own dynamics and therefore would have a different plan. I am not trying to suggest what kind of plan you might make. I just can't imagine going through what all those people having a lovely family breakfast did last week in Carson City. However, explaining to my children to immediatly get down and behind me and daddy should we ever be caught in a scary situation like that, somehow gives me a little peace of mind. And since its impossible to shut all of our children and ourselves in the house forever, it just seems like common sense.

So, I encourage you to sit down with your family, talk out a plan that would work for you (based on age and maturity levels). That way, in the event you are caught in one of these nightmares you have a chance to make it to counseling,  together as a family.

A Child's Comfort Isn't As Imprtant As The Child

There have been times in my life when I have driven somewhere unbuckled. I have risked, for some stupid reason, my own safety and the opportunity to pay a hefty fine for no real reason. I think we have all made dumb choices in regards to our own safety throughout our lives.
However, I have never risked the safety of any of my children for any reason. There is no reason I could ever justify risking their lives. We have 5 children. I also have a step-daughter from my previous marriage. I am the daughter of a retired law enforcement officer and an ICU nurse. I grew up with CHP magazine on our coffee table (a magazine that focuses on vehicle accidents and has very graphic, real life pictures). As a young mother I was reminded (lovingly) how important it was to make sure my children were safe in the car regardless of noise and comfort.

I know how frustrating a crying baby in a car seat can be. I understand all too well what its like to be in the car with a child who wants to be anywhere but in that car. An upset child can not only be painful to your emotional and physical body but also a big distraction to the driver. So I get it. It's tough to be in a car with an upset child of any age.

I recently had a second hand experience about a mother who turned her 11 month old around to the forward facing position. The reason in her words, 'she didn't like being rear facing'. At this time I am not going to go on and on about the legality issue of turning your child around at 11 months. I think we can all see the stupidity and selfishness in this particular situation. So for arguments sake, lets just say her child was 12 months old. The legal time to be allowed to turn your child from rear facing to forward facing.

I am not going to list studies and data to support my opinion. I don't think it's necessary. You don't need to see all that to know in your heart whats right and what's not. The safety of your child(ren) is not a like or dislike situation. My son loves candy and it would make him very happy to eat candy whenever he wanted, but it's not good for him to over indulge in sweets. So he isn't allowed to. My oldest daughter is a type 1 diabetic. She hates poking herself all day long to test her blood sugar and to change her pump inserts when needed. But she still has to do them to keep herself safe (and in this case alive). Each example is simple and extreme at the same time. And so is turning your child around to the forward facing position simply because it may make your car rides less stressful.

My son is very tall for his age. Right now at 37 months old he is 40" tall, he wears a 5T or 4 in boys. He is not a small guy and never has been. He has always had very long legs. He stayed in the rear facing position for 2 years.  Why? Well I guess the simplest answer is information I already shared with you, my father is a retired law enforcement officer and my mother is an ICU nurse. I fully understand what could happen, what has happened to other children, and what my child's physical limitations are when it comes to vehicle safety. We have certainly had our moments of chaos in the car and have had to push through them.

Car seat safety isn't the only problem with children in the car. The children who are no longer in seats (and even those in boosters) have a tendency to put the shoulder belt behind there backs because when the belt rubs against their shoulder blade it can be uncomfortable. Please, please don't let them do that. They make little adjusters that attach to the seat belt to help it be positioned in the right and comfortable area.

I am not the one who tells this story anymore when one of our children's friends get in our car and they attempt to put the shoulder belt behind them. My children know the story and tell it well all on their own. It is a simple, straightforward, and very sad story.

We are acquaintances with the family who lived before us in our last house in California. A family of 4: Mom, dad, daughter, and son. One day mom and daughter are out running errands in their large 2006 GMC Denali. They were in a head on collision. The collision was so substantial that mom's left knee was smashed up under the dashboard and shattered. She was lucky. Her daughter, in the back seat, had done what she did every time she rode in the car.  She put the shoulder portion of her seat belt behind her. The collision (obviously from moms injuries) was so hard that the impact force  focused on her abdomen, her back was broken and her spinal cord severed. She was (is) permanently paralyzed from the waist (seat belt) down.

I don't have any stories of children I know being injured from riding front facing instead of rear facing. For that I am thankful. However, just because I don't know anyone who has had that happen doesn't mean it doesn't. Babies just don't have the muscle strength older children do. Car seats have come a long way and can hold children rear facing safely for a long time. Please, please don't risk your child's safety for perceived comfort and less stress. I guarantee you that the mother of the paralyzed child mentioned above does not have a stress free life and would exchange discomfort and stress for the injury her daughter lives with every day.

Car seats, booster seats, seat belts, and adjusters have come a long way in the last few years. Please don't risk the safety of your children or other people's children for the sake of comfort and silence in the car.

Okay, I will now step down off my soapbox. :-)

I Really Am The Cool Mom!!!

I am preparing to have yet another surgery. Deep Sigh! (There is a light at the end of the tunnel, so it is all okay.) As I was getting my house in order for me to be down, in bed, for a bit, I enlisted the help of my beautiful girls to help me out. Now its summer and seriously who wants to clean and organize for mom all day? No one. And I understand. To be honest I would rather not do it myself. So, I planned a little motivation.

My girls are 13, 13, and 16 (and add a friend who is visiting for a few weeks who is also 16). They have all been asking me to put color in their hair. Streaks, all the underneath, 3 different colors of streaks, and one wanted her whole head of hair one vibrant color. So, I bought the neccessary supplies, proposed my plan, and we all got to work. (I did get permission from our visiting friend's mom before adding any color to her hair. I'm cool, but not stupid.)

So the downstairs and the upstairs of my house are clean and organized. They did a great job helping (thank you ladies) and it was time to pay up.  I spent an entire day playing with hair and making a mess with color.

Here are our results...now remember, its just hair. The color is semi-permanent, it will wash out eventually, and its summer. Besides, I the cool mom. Didn't you hear?

 Toria with her blue, black, and blond streaks

 Macy with her purple hair underneath (the entire bottom section)

 Zoey (visiting friend) with her blue streaks

 Our first attempt at an entire head of blue hair... didn't get the results she was looking for.

 Sooooo...

DO-OVER! My smurf, Jessica with her very blue head of hair.

 All that matters is she is happy with it!

It was fun to do but a pain to clean up after. I would have loved to snap pictures of them all with their heads wrapped up with saran wrap waiting for the colors to set, but they didn't like that idea at all. Aparently they didn't want anyone to see them that way. But its cool to have colored hair, LOL!
Teen girls are funny.

My First Wordless Wednesday...

Wait, what are the rules for wordless Wednesdays? Am I allowed to use any words? If I can't use any words than how will anyone know whats going on in the pictures? I mean you could guess, they are pretty self explanatory...I would be willing to even say that the pictures could tell a few different stories just because my children are so dramatic and silly. So I guess I won't say anything. I will make it wordless. Well, starting now.

(I took these through our backdoor window while they thought no one was watching...I am always  watching! Ok, now I will start the wordless part...)

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! How come whenever my kids take pictures of me they always seem to get these kind of shots? I mean really, you had to click the button then?

Ok, well this one isn't so bad. I guess I will resume wordlessness...

(its a word!)

Delusions of Granduer

There are times in you life when you are able to complete a task and it brings you not only satisfaction but that feeling of great accomplishment. Creating something with your own two hands, building a gift for your children that they will love and appreciate for years to come. This was not one of those times.

Achievement, accomplishment, completion, conquest, triumph, victory ...yeah right, it was more like defeat, failure, forfeit, and misfortune.

My husband's knee surgery was scheduled and approaching fast. Everyday we chipped away at our list of things that could not be done while he was recovering. He worked his tushy off the last couple of weeks. He built me two planter boxes that I requested for Mother's day (and he bought me a beautiful diamond necklace too! Sorry ladies, he's mine!) and then we got the idea of the play structure for the two younger kids. Now when I say 'we' got the idea, I mean me.

Pack your bags we are going on a side trip...

We bought a play structure, not swing set. I had a swing set when I was a kid. They were metal and tubular. There were holes in the 4 corner legs for anchors to secure the swing set to the ground, but who used those? If you got swinging high enough you could get one, maybe even two legs to jump off the ground. That was the challenge.

The slide was part of the swing set, an important part. Without the slide, chances are the whole thing would've fallen over as you swung forward. There were 2 swings, a bar in the middle, and a teeter totter thing that actually was a lot of fun if you had someone to do it with you. I am thinking back to all the time we spent on our swing set and I am amazed we didn't slice our hands open going down the slide  (because they were rather sharp metal sides not fancy plastic). I am amazed that two of us could swing at the same time and it didn't just snap in half. And I am still confused as to the purpose of that square bar in the middle. All you could do was hang off it. What was the point of that? I mean if you were serious about your bar skills you had to use a very stationary and strong bar. So I personally think that they ran out of stuff to put on the swing set and needed something to plug the hole.

Okay, so anyway we go the play structure at Costco. I did some research before hand to make sure we weren't throwing away money. Turned out that the one at Costco was a great deal for the quality and size.
On Sunday evening we go in and get this monstrosity. Someone was thinking ahead because they had the boxes all divided and loaded onto those giant carts parked under the demonstration model. Easy enough right? Pull out the preloaded cart, push it up to the register, pay, load it in the truck, and head home. Well we thankfully had a cashier who pays attention. We had two #6 boxes and no #2 box. (There were 6 boxes. One box was not too big, it contained all the hardware and such. But the other 5 boxes were huge). We only came in to buy this one item and wouldn't you know it, the 2.5 year old was freaking out,  wanting to climb all over the boxes and open them up. I can usually make it through Costco in about 45 minutes and he starts getting antsy towards the end. But not this time, so I headed out to the truck while my husband patiently waited for the employees to figure out how to switch one of the #6 boxes out for a #2 box. About 45 minutes later my husband was heaving this cart towards the truck. We began to load the boxes in the truck.

Let me just say thank you to the very nice tire guy who saw a very incapable woman trying to help her husband load huge boxes into the back of a truck and was so sweet to not just come over to help but he ran over to help. So the strong men get the boxes loaded and now all that's left is to take it home and put it together. How exciting!

So this is late Sunday evening, my husbands knee surgery is Thursday morning. On the way home we get hit with a huge thunderstorm. Even if he could have dealt with the pouring rain, its really not safe to be outside putting together a 12 foot play structure with ground strike lightening going on. So, my husband said I will start on it tomorrow after work.

Another side trip...

I love thunder and lightening storms! My husband shakes his head and thinks I am a bit off when it comes to my weather related excitement. He grew up in Pennsylvania and is quite used to the type of weather we have here in Virginia. I however grew up in northern, northern California. It rains 60% of the year and the rest of the time its foggy. There is no exciting weather. No snow storms, no hurricanes, no nor Easters, no tornadoes, and our thunderstorms are lame. We have earthquakes though! Okay, that's a whole other subject. 
So I love when we have the severe weather and I get very disappointed when they skip over us or break up before hitting us. I have an addiction to checking the radar on the weather channel application on my IPhone. Honestly if I am in town (15 miles away) that's when there is a big storm. I will come home and everything will be wet and blown around. My husband will say, you just missed a pretty nasty thunderstorm. The thunder shook the house and knocked out the dish (or Internet, or whatever). And every time I am pissed that I missed it!

The one week we have serious outside work to do in a short amount of time what do you think happens? Yep, severe thunderstorm warnings, flash flood warnings, non stop heavy rain, and huge thunderstorms with lots of ground strike lightening. So my poor husband had to work around this weather for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday trying desperately to get this play structure put together.

Monday afternoon, my husband is outside opening boxes, reading directions, scratching his head, and pacing a lot. I finally get an opportunity to go out and check on the progress. There is a huge diagram and a 40 page book of directions. Wow they weren't kidding around with the serious technicality of it all. EXCEPT of the 2,000 pieces (and I am not exaggerating) in the 6 boxes none of them are labeled. Nope, none of them. Well the slide pieces are obviously the slide pieces and the swings are obviously the swings but all those wooden boards....not a mark on them!

There is this wonderful diagram that lists every piece in the box, with a picture of what the piece looks like, the dimensions, the quantity of the pieces, and the identifying number that goes along with each piece. And in the 40 page booklet identifies each piece with the numbers listed on this chart. But there are no labels on the wood pieces themselves!

Have you ever tried to put together a puzzle upside down? Well imagine if that was a 3-D puzzle that was 12 feet high. This was my husbands challenge. And every time he got some kind of rhythm down, BAM, thunderstorm!

After about 2 hours of piecing things together and trying to identify parts my husband began to feel horrible and got a migraine headache with all the bells and whistles. So off to bed he was sent with medicine and lots of water.


That creek like area isn't a creek, its just part of
our backyard.



Tuesday afternoon he began to work on it again. Our back yard began looking like we had a creek running threw it. It had been raining since Sunday evening non-stop. My husband is working hard and about 3 hours into his work he comes in cursing and breathing heavily. He had injured his hand. The tip of his pointer finger on his left hand got stuck between a bolt and the board while the drill was putting it into place. It took the tip of his finger off. It didn't get his fingernail, it was just beyond that. So I cleaned it up, bandaged it, gave him some meds, and sent him on his way to continue working. (Later I would here the same story over and over of how I took care of him and then sent him back to work one handed. Sigh.) By the way his hand is completely healed.

By Wednesday evening the rain hadn't stopped. I was able to go out and help him because one of the older girls played with the 2.5 year old for me. I seemed to be more in the way than a help. So I decided to start labeling pieces. I used a white oil crayon to mark the pieces. It had stopped raining for awhile which made things much easier. So I manage to label about I would say maybe 100 pieces of wood for my husband and put them into stacks according to their category. BAM! Another huge thunderstorm is coming. We are both outside so we continue working, as it is getting closer and closer, the rain is getting heavier and heavier. Just as I come to the conclusion it is time to get out of the danger zone for us both, I notice that the white oil crayon is rinsing off of the boards I have labeled. Well Hell!

We go inside and as we both sigh, I asked my husband, "How much do you think Don (our carpenter who does handyman work) would charge us to put this together?" The idea is a pleasant relief to my husband who immediately goes out and calls Don. He comes back in from making the call and tells me that he will do it but won't be able to come out until the end of the next week. Sign, okay. At least it will get put together and our kids will be able to play on it this summer.

So this is the time my husband realizes he will not be putting this structure together. There will be no feelings satsatisfaction or years down the road bragging rights of the huge accomplishment he was able to achieve by single handedly (ha ha little pun there) putting his children's play structure together. But at this point I think my husband was perfectly okay with that,
My husbands knee surgery went well. (We hope it was successful. we won't know for a few months). It rained for 2 more days. And honestly since then, I have missed every thunderstorm that has occurred here at home.

Day one of professional assembly

Our carpenter Don is a very nice guy. He brought a helper with him on a Friday morning. I showed them where everything was, handed him the huge diagram and the 40 page instruction booklet and I left them alone. It took his helper and himself almost 7 hours to get this far (see photo on right)...my husband had managed to get the lower level done all by himself and one handed (as I am reminded).

I was disappointed when they let me know they had to call it a day and would be back sometime the next week. We had 2.5 year old and an 8 year old asking every hour when it would be done. But they did show up that next week, I think on Thursday. And it wasn't an easy job. So I managed the children.

As it went together it became easier and easier to build since there were less and less parts to have to choose from. He said it was like a puzzle. So after 2 days of hard work in the hot sun they completed the play structure.

Haley got home and ran from the bus to our backyard. She was so excited to see the swings up and the slide going up. She wanted to be out there with them while they finished it. I of course was a mean mommy and refused. There is nothing quite like an 8 year olds constant questioning to slow down the work and stall things. Don finally came to the back door and asked if she could come out and test everything. I could barely contain her. She shot out the backdoor and was on that set in no time.

Everything worked out well, despite all the leftover hardware. Hmmmm, why is it men seem to think that leftover hardware is no big deal and us women are the ones who seriously question the reasoning behind random numbers of leftover parts? Regardless, the structure was complete. It is sturdy, attractive, and fun. All the things we were hoping for.



Ms. Haley and Don with the finished product!

 Now I have promised Don to not write down how much he charged us to put this play structure together. Lets just say we got a great deal and Don learned how much to quote on future projects of this type. Of course if the parts are labelled it wouldn't have taken so long. Thanks Cedar Summit for the extra work!

If you are in the Fredericksburg area and need a great contractor Don Anderson is your guy. He has done many different things for us, all of which turned out great. He is reliable, personable, and skilled. Thanks Don for your hard work! The kids love the play structure.

She's ALIVE!!! HA HA HA

Life can sometimes just take over and you are along for the ride. I have had many inquiries as to how I am since my last post so very long ago, thank you to those who took the time to say "where the hell are you?' (my words not theirs).

I had a girlie surgery and then my husband had knee surgery. We are both in good health and doing great. My children are the same; the three hormonally driven teen aged girls, the "don't forget me just because I am not a teen doesn't mean I don't have attitude" 8 year old girl, and of course the master of the never ending energy my, two year old boy!

I am alive. I am ready to write. Be prepared because I feel a laughing my ass off ~ uplifting post a brew'n!!!

Ready to Lighten Up...

As I lay in bed unable to sleep, even though my eyelids are droopy and my body is exhausted, I realized after reading over my last few entries that I am starting to become negative and boring. And although my life is stressful and hectic and chaotic, it is also fraught with humor and happiness. I have no intention of becoming that blogger who only vents the crazy stressful and negative stuff that burns out the frayed nerve endings firing in my brain causing actual pain and disgust.

I love to laugh and I sincerly appreciate reading blogs of those who are honest, sincere, and most importantly make me laugh out loud! My favorite moments in life are the ones that cause milk to shoot out my nose followed by coughing and wheezing because I did that honest snort laugh that I was completely unprepared for! What the hell happened to that lady? (I use the term lady very losely, as its pretty rare to see milk shooting out of the nose of a 'lady'. I could be wrong though, maybe the Queen of England enjoys a good milk snort?)

So, here I am, sleep deprived and cranky...but channeling all the energy I have left into lightening things up and doing my best to see the humor in the chaos bubble.

Lets start with one of the random, funny, and chaos lined things happening in our lives and see how that goes, shall we:

We were at Home Depot the other day. I was pacing back and forth trying to ignore all the electrical advice my husband was getting from the certified electrician who chooses to work for 1/5 the pay at Home Depot. (I wanted to ask, because I am a curious bitch, but I refrained.) My husband'e eyes were lit up like a kid at Christmas. I gave up pacing and just let him plan and play. My only two requests; 1. Please don't electricute yourself dear, and 2. Please don't burn the house down. (We have homeowners insurance and medical insurance, so stop freaking out already! No, no I am not talking to you. I am talking to me.) Anyway, to distract myself I started looking at all the wonderful outdoor furniture and furnishings. I sat in this chair and then that chair, I played with cushions in this chair and rocked in that one over there. And then I found this great Gazebo. I wanted it immediatly. So when my husband was done with his happy time planning the wiring of our basement we bought it (along with all those electrical supplies he needed).
We have had a couple of really nice weather days, but it also snowed once. What the hell? It snowed after we had two days of 70+ degree weather. So, the box with the Gazebo is still in the back of my husbands truck. I have been thinking and planning a way to put up this gazebo. You know get that nice outdoor carpet from Costco that is super cheap (because who wants to deal with dirt outside), I have been looking on Craigs list for comfortable outdoor furniture that isn't $2,000, and planning in my mind some relaxing time to be spent in our lovely backyard. And then boom, we have another couple of 70+ degree days, its beautiful outside, the trees are blooing, everything is getting pretty and green, and then it happens. IT happens. And when IT happened I realized something. I don't like being outside. I don't want to go out there. And you can't make me.

Now you are probably asking yourself what IT could be. What could possibly take this lovely lady (again using the term lady, snort) from planning and excitment to forget it, not happening? Well I will tell you, BUGS. Not just bugs, but bugs that bite and sting and chase and terrorize. Wasps, wasps happened. In two days we went from lovely warmth to what the holy hell is that? Oh, Shit! Close the door!!! You know that crazed adrenaline feeling you get when you are just sure the wasps have begun attack formation and are coming at you?

Now I will admit I have never been a bug person. I don't run screaming cowering in a corner until a big strong man can come save me from the big bad bugs. I grew up in a pretty rural area and we had animals and plenty of bugs. However, apparently we had California bugs. I like California bugs. California bugs are those bugs that while they may have the annoying job of bugging you to do, they are also very concerned with their size and appearance (as most Californians are). Here in Virginia, we have scary southern humidity bugs. Bugs that seem to have fallen into a vat of nuculear waste of some kind and have developed super buggy powers along with super buggy size. In our bedroom I can see through the (closed) white blinds the wasps buzzing around trying to build their nest. You can actually see their shape and size through closed blinds!

My husband is fearless when it comes to bugs. He has no problems standing less than 10 feet from a new wasp nest during the middle of the day and is more than happy to spray that sucker down with wasp killer. Not me, nope. As a matter of fact I would appreciate you letting me know dear, when you plan to do these things so I can go lock myself (with the baby) in the bathroom. Just in case any scary, radio active, super sized, freshly bug sprayed wasps get into the house and decide to seek out that bitch who bought all that wasp killer and bite the shit out of her. (If everything is really bigger in Texas, I sure as shit am not visiting there, ever!!! I'm just saying.)

But this is me trying to lighten up and relax. So I guess I will call the big buggy exterminators and see how much they will charge to rid my life and home of these mutant wasps. I will try, I just have this feeling that I will be spending my time inside again this year. (Meanwhile, can't you just picture me and the baby sitting on the bathroom floor playing?)

(on a side note, since I am lightening up, I gave up on trying to get my spell check to work. So I apologize for the spelling errors that are probably rampant throughout this post.)

Enough is Enough...How Much More Can We Take?!?

I am no longer just the mom of a type 1 Diabetic and two Asthma kids. Nope. Someone, somewhere decided I needed to expand my horizons and be more involved in  health centered issues. I  feel as though I am being gravely misrepresented to whomever is in charge up there. I have heard the old saying, "God only gives you what you can handle", well I have had my fill thank you very much. I am way past my saturation limit. You can just hold onto whatever else you are thinking of throwing my way. I am in no mood to cooperate, enough is enough!

My 2 year old son and I went to the allergist this morning. The doctor did a few tests and confirmed what I had already known in my heart to be true, my son is allergic to peanuts. I was really hoping that I was wrong and that it would be just a contact issue. Nope. He had a substantial reaction to the controlled test.

My husband, in his very hopeful way, asked me if he will grow out of it. Most likely not. Research  indicates that 20% of children do grow out of their allergy to peanuts. However, if your child has Eczema he is most likely going to have the allergy for his entire life and it will most likely get more severe as time goes on. Wonderful. While we were at the allergist he checked Ethan's Eczema and gave us some new ways to manage it. So I guess we won't be growing out of this one.

So on our way home we stopped at the pharmacy, filled the prescription for 2 Epi Jr pens, and bought 2 mini Mr Potato heads and a Buzz Lightyear zapper (because my son was very well behaved and I felt terrible he had to have his back poked and prodded to confirm his allergy).

Recently in the news a school in Florida had parents protesting the "extreme" measures staff was going through to protect a child with a severe peanut allergy. Since I am very familiar with federal requirements of publicly funded schools (and such) I have to say that parents who have been demanding the child with the allergy be removed from the school to be home schooled, went a bit too far. Not only does the school have no say in any such matter, neither do they (parents). I understand that rumors and false information was being reported and many people were just plain misinformed. That probably accounted for a lot of the protesting. For example they were not disinfecting children's faces and/or hands with Clorox wipes. (Which as a parent I would have had a huge problem with and protested as well). I wonder though, if the parents who were protesting and demanding this student be home schooled, if they had a child with a similar situation, how would they feel? How would their child feel? Did they stop and think of that? It is highly possible that this child's parents could not and do not have the resources to home school or provide private school. Which is why there are laws protecting students in the first place. These parents pay the same taxes the protesting parents pay.

Anyway, since this situation I fear children with peanut allergies will be even more segregated than they already are. As a child it is hard enough to fit in and get along with everyone else. When you have another factor that singles you out more so than the rest of the kids, its that much harder on you.

I also understand that children can be horrible to each other, however children don't just pick up this stuff on their own, they get it from their parents. Children hear what their parents are saying and discussing. They pick up on their parents opinions and make them their own. Parents who are racist pass racism on to their children, parents who are snobs pass snobbish behavior onto their children, and parents who are intolerant of people with disabilities and the accommodations made for those with disabilities pass on that intolerance to their children. (of course there are exceptions but in general kids learn this stuff from their parents).

Let me give you an example that is easily understood by everyone. When my twins were in kindergarten (so many years ago) we lived in a very nice neighborhood. I worked very hard as a single mother who went to school full time and worked full time. We rented a very nice 3 bedroom apartment in this lovely neighborhood of single family homes. I loved our apartment. We had a pool, a gardener, a playground, and a safe area for the children to be. Well I was in their class one day and the girls were sharing with the class something (I can't remember what). A child near me leaned over to her friend and whispered (not so quietly), "they rent".  What the holy hell do kindergartners care whether someone owns a home or rents? They don't, but their parents have all kinds of opinions that their kids picked up on quite easily.

We had an older station wagon my father had bought for me when I left my ex-husband. It worked well for a mother of three babies. It wasn't fancy and it wasn't glamorous, but it ran well and had power everything! So we loved it. Well I finally got a new car. On the way to school the first day in our new car I heard one twin tell the other, "Now Danny can't give us a hard time for having an old car".  What the holy hell do kindergartners care about how old someones car is? They don't, but their parents have quite a few opinions about them. 

So those are two very easy to understand examples of how we as parents can pass our opinions down to our children. Honestly, those were harmless compared to most of what happens in the world today.

So, anyway, I am just very concerned that my poor baby who is now officially allergic to peanuts is destined to sit at the "peanut free" lunch table instead of with classmates and friends. He will be that student other kids roll their eyes about because any snacks that come into their classroom will have to be "peanut free" (of course they will have practiced that eye roll after watching mom and/or dad do it). And my worst fear is his peanut allergy may someday be used against him in a bullying, hazing, or just plain assaulting situation. I know, I know...I have this gift of seeing worst case scenarios. Believe it or not I am actually a very positive person. I think that being able to see the worst case easily in my mind helps prepare me for bad outcomes and helps me handle them in a positive manner should they happen.

Our next hurdle is the appointment for one of my twins with the Pediatric Rhematologist later this month. We know she is suffering with Raynauds Syndrome (another auto immune disorder where your body randomly shuts off circulation to fingers and /or toes. They turn white, then blue, and then flush red when circulation is restored.). What we don't know is if it is just Raynauds or a precursor to another much more serious auto immune disorder such as Lupus. So I will report later this month on that one.

So for now, I am putting in my formal request of ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

Teavana, My New Addiction

My husband and I were in the mall recently shopping for new shoes for him. We were going to meet our daughter who was playing with the 2 year old and 7 year old in the play area, when my husband suddenly said, "Oh, let's go in this store. I was here last week and I think you will like it".

Now it is important to understand that my husband is not a shopper. He dislikes being in any store and especially dislikes having to be in a store shopping that is crowded with people. So I was a little shocked he was interested in going into this store at all. Not only were there a lot of people in the small store but there were also employees strategically located in every corner for samples. So it took me a moment to get over the initial shock to even register what store we were in.

The store was Teavana. It smelled wonderful and the samples were very good. They were of course the perfect blends of different teas with the perfect blends of sweetener (not too sweet but just enough to cut through any bitterness). After trying a couple of teas I looked at my husband with confusion. "Why are we in here?" He told me he liked the samples the last time he had been in and wanted me to try them. Okay, again I am still confused. "So, you want to buy tea?" I was confused because we drink coffee mostly. He likes black coffee and I like froufrou coffee. I have a tea pot my mother gave me, but I am pretty sure it is decorated with Christmas stuff and is buried in the back of a cabinet.

He finally said, "I know you like that peach tea when we go out to eat and I just thought maybe we could get some tea. You know give them a try. Do you like them? I would rather spend money on tea than Starbucks." (My husband hates Starbucks. I usually only get maybe one a week, but that adds up at 5$ a pop).
"Well, yeah I like them. But we this is all loose tea and that means we would have to buy a tea maker along with the tea."
With a smile on his face he says, "That's okay. What kind do you want to get?"

Now I rarely buy myself anything and I generally use grocery shopping to satisfy my want to buy things. We have 5 kids and I don't work. There isn't much I need. So my husband who enjoys buying me things when he can find something I want or like was enjoying himself. So this is one of those opportunities where he was able to spend money on me and make me smile. Technically its food...technically its healthy...technically its worth trying.

So we bought a tea maker (for use with loose tea) and a few different teas. They included a little booklet with all of the teas they offer and information on accessories for tea. That was the clincher.

When we got home, I made tea. I enjoyed the simplicity of mixing the teas I wanted and following the very simple directions for each type of tea. We mainly got white tea and the roobios were white and red so the caffeine levels are very low. I was hooked instantly.

That night I went online to Teavana.com and ordered more tea, tins, and the German Rock Sugar (which is very yummy). I did find a promotional code that saved me 10$. I also split my order in 2 so I could save the 10$ twice (shipping was free) and each order came with a sample my husband loved. After I submitted my order I ran across an application for my iPhone that has tea mixes, tea timers, and information on all the teas they carry. Hey, it was free.

When my orders came I was like a kid opening a Christmas gift. I put all the tea in the tins (air tight to protect the tea), made a place for the tea in our glass cabinet, and immediately made tea. YUM!

I have had tea every day since we got it. I drink tea instead of snacking, which is helpful. I really didn't think about the tea vs snacking until yesterday. Drinking tea helps me get my water each day and although I am not a big soda drinker, the tea has made me skip any and all soda. The majority of the teas we got are white teas, so there is very little caffeine.I use the German Rock Sugar which is a much nicer flavor than white sugar and its not processed like white sugar.

The only downside to all this tea drinking...I have to pee all the time! Seriously, it feels like all the time. Its worse than drinking beer. I suppose I am drinking more fluids, so that increases potty trips. I am not sure if tea is a diuretic (without caffeine) or not because everything I read was linked to the caffeine. Did you know that white teas are not only good for skin and hair but also teeth? Tea naturally prevents plaque. Wow, I had no idea.

Well, I am hooked. Now my challenge is to stay out of the Teavana store and not buy tea online until we are out. Because there are so many different flavors and I want to try them all!

I will leave you with this...Many of you have heard me talk about my husband referring (lovingly) to me as his 'uppity elitist bitch' (it is because I am so picky and never seem to be satisfied with what I have, always wanting more...better stuff, better service, better environment) well after I fell in love with all this tea my husband tells me...
"Well, I figured you would like it. What could be more uppity elitist than loose tea sold by the ounce?"

Pain and the Pain Pill Haze

So things went well with the surgery. (It was one of those girlie area type surgeries, so I have no intention actually talking about the surgery itself). I am in bed being pampered by my wonderful husband. The kids have their extortion bribery chore charts they have been doing pretty well sticking to. My baby doll (2.5 year old son who is a total momma's boy) is having a hard time understanding why mommy won't play like she normally does, but he is being pretty good as well.

I am in pain. I have pain pills. I am taking my pain pills. So actually at the moment (if I don't move) I am not in pain. If I move then its a whole other story. I don't care for the fog that comes with pain pills or the way you doze off without realizing it until you wake up. I think I did just that a moment ago, ha ha. One minute I am typing and the next I'm lifting my head up off the pillow. So I don't like having this hazy no control over my own mind feeling. However, I do dislike something much more than the haze...PAIN. I am very much against it. If there is anything I can do to avoid pain, I will. So I am hazy and foggy.

I was trying to think of something funny, brilliant, or at least entertaining to write today. I still have not come up with anything. Its raining and dreary out, there is nothing to watch on TV, and I am bored. I am so bored that I actually cleaned up a little when I was downstairs for a snack. My husband asked me what I was doing and I actually said just cleaning up after myself. I was cleaning up after more than just myself but I didn't want to get reprimanded so I fibbed and stopped cleaning.

I am laying in bed watching Red (which is a great action/comedy movie) and about to fall into that comatosed state again. Please forgive any run-on sentences (that are beyond my normal ones) and grammer/spelling issues in this lovely action packed post. Oxycodone is my friend until the pain is gone and it turns out Oxycodone is against good grammer, correct spelling, and things making sense in general. Oxycodone is that passive aggressive friend who somehow always manages to get their way.

I will hopefully be clear enough to write something coherent soon.  Night all.

Trauma...oh the Trauma of it all!

trauma :

1. (Psychology) a powerful shock that may have long-lasting effects

2. (Medicine / Pathology) any bodily injury or wound

My husband has a special kind of sense of humor. I love it personally, its been described as a dry humor laced with strong sarcasm. I think that is only because there are times (even for me) when it is difficult to tell whether he is joking or serious. He has a very stoic demeanor for his public face. He is a disabled veteran, he spent 10 years in the Air Force. He has that serious soldier attitude in his body language, the kind that puts immediate fear in teen aged boys. (Which is obviously a good thing since we have 4 daughters). I will share a huge secret with you, shhhh, don't tell anyone. My husband has a sweet, soft, and gooey heart. He prefers people to think he is mean and tough. But he isn't.

So anyway, my husband and I were discussing the surgery I will be having Friday afternoon. We were discussing how to get our older 4 children to help with housework and our 2 year old son during my recovery time. (We fully plan to bribe and extort our children into helping.) My wonderful husband will work from home as much as he can to help out as much as he can. One of the biggest challenges is I will not be able to lift up our 2 year old son for 4-6 weeks. Wow, that's a long time. Especially since our son is a true mamma's boy.

My husband laughs and pops off with this "Poor little guy is going to be traumatized. First he broke his little arm, then losses his boobs (my husbands reference to the fact that I weaned our son from nursing, charming, huh?), he gets his cast taken off (he was very angry they were taking his Buzz Lightyear arm off), then he had 3 front teeth pulled (along with other dental work done while under general anesthesia), and now his mommy won't be able to pick him up. We might as well start him sleeping in his own room since we are taking everything else away".

I will not be ending our co-sleeping, I am not ready to give that up. But my husband is right on all the other stuff. In just over one month all of the above did happen to our son. Will he be traumatized from the above list? I doubt it. Well, at least not as traumatized as we have been by everything he went through (ok, mostly it was me who was traumatized from it all, not my husband. He's a big strong man!)and next list of things our adorable son has done in less than a month that has scared, irritated, aggrivated, and hurt us.

There are many falls: from laundry baskets, tables, couches, chairs, his sisters arms, and our bed. There's the haircut he gave himself (a day after paying to have if professionally done), the shampoo incident (pink shampoo dumped in the hallway and our room while my husband could have swore he was just playing), the toothpaste tube emptied in the sink and on the floor and then tracked into the living room to tell me it was all over the place, (my husbands personal favorite) the packing peanuts he found in a box in our closet and spread all over our room in a blink of an eye, the many cups of liquid dumped on me or the floor (which he followed each time with the crazy scientist laugh), the cabinet hiding (he crawls into a cabinet and hides while I search everywhere for him, usually it ends when I hear the giggle from his hiding spot), his hugs he gives me when he climbs behind my back and then grabs my hair, pulls, and counters me from going backwards by putting his knees in my lower back (this one actually requires the help of my husband as I can't move when he does it), that time he put two dvds into my husbands PS3 (they came out ok, and it works fine, but it sure made a funky noise while they were both in there), and of course my personal favorite the random headbutts I receive which are generally followed by rubbing noses, cheek against cheek, and kisses. There are so many more things that happen on a day to day basis that scare the hell out of me and we recover from. I just can't remember them all (mental block maybe). Boys sure are different than girls, I can say that with complete certainty.


On another subject, I seem to have eliminated the trauma from the Mommy Wars (the women who felt it necessary to either comment or email me all about how wrong I was in my opinion and experience with my son and his poor little teeth). I am also thrilled to report that after I posted a list of the things I am for and against I didn't lose any followers. Thank you to my readers and followers, I like to believe that we can all have different views, opinions, and feelings on big and little issues and still be friends! You all ROCK!

 

Finally added the page...

Just a quick note... I finally got a chance to focus and write out our diabetic diagnosis story. I have been asked many, many times about Macy's diagnosis and how we found out she was diabetic. I made it into a page rather than a post.
It was a tough time to bring back, but it is important for us to share what happened to us to educate  other moms and dads out there with children who may be showing early warning signs.

The Mommy Wars

On Tuesday my son had a horrible dentist appointment and I told our story as I was sitting in the waiting room, powerless. I stated I was/am angry that I didn't know my baby should have his teeth wiped or brushed after nursing and that falling asleep nursing was bad for his teeth.

I got some comments, boy did I. I got some great comments from Moms who were like me and didn't know, Moms who were grateful for the information on nursing and on baby going to the dentist at age 1 instead of age 2. But I also got the 'mommy war' comments. Oddly enough all of the 4 comments I got that were negative were anonymous. (You say a lot when you say it anonymously.)

Well it got me thinking about my personal views and how little I share my opinions. I am a big believer that we each should have our own choice and right to make those choices. Yes, that means I am pro-choice (but that's not what I meant by own choices). But its not because I am anti-life, I just don't think our government should be involved. Now before you give me the pro-life vs pro-choice speech and try to correct me please understand that it is very important to me to respect other peoples beliefs and opinions. We each have the right to our own opinions and beliefs. We also each have our own reasons for believing the way that we do. Even if you disagree with someone else you can still be respectful and considerate. In turn I expect others to treat me with the same respect and consideration. (Even on the big ones like religion, political, life/choice, etc).

I think we tend to get wrapped up in why we believe a certain way and forget that other people have good reasons for why they believe the way they do as well. Every life experience we have pushes us one way or another. It is rare to find anyone with more than a few of the same life experiences we each have had. Most people aren't interested in sharing their life histories with others so that we can understand why they believe the way they do. And who can blame them? There are plenty of experiences in my life that I don't want to talk about to my closest friends and those are the ones that have shaped who I am the most. So if we all can take a step back and just remind ourselves that the person we completely disagree with probably has a very valid reason and life history that has molded what their beliefs and opinions are, then I think we have a greater chance of being a more caring and understanding person.

With that said, I am going to take a leap of faith and type out how I specifically feel on some very controversial subjects (and some not so controversial). Here are a few of my standings on such things:

Pro

Nursing (vs formula fed)

Co-sleeping

Sex education (which helps prevent needing to make the "choice")

Bearing Arms (although I also am very strict on how firearms are stored in regards to children and safety- My daddy is a retired sheriff, I grew up around guns.)

Choice (with extensive education on alternatives) I have always chosen life, but I don't want any bureaucrat telling me what I can and cannot do

Separation of Church and State

Alcohol

Adoption

Public (discreet) nursing

Co-Parenting (even if mom and dad are divorced, children deserve both parents to be active in their lives)

Anti:

Corporal punishment in children (ie, spanking, washing mouths out with soap, saucing, etc)

Health care profits (I sincerely believe all health care should be non-profit, no one should profit from the illness of another)

Physical Violence

Big Government

Bullying

Judging (unless you are on a jury, its not our jobs to judge those around us)

Emotional child manipulation [abuse] (best example is when mom and dad are getting a divorce and use the children against each other and don't even see the pain they are causing their children)

Using food to control anyone (especially children). I have a list of Food rules I came up with while I worked full time and had nanny's taking care of my children.



Those are the ones I can think of right now. There are of course things that don't fall into a category of for or against. Religion is a big one. My religious preferences and beliefs are something I keep very private. I had a very unpleasant experience with my ex-husbands church members (Seventh Day Adventist) in California. So I guess you could say I am a little gun shy when it comes to sharing my religious preferences. It is always shocking to me how judgemental people (who proclaim to be non-judgemental) can be. But that is a whole other story/post/subject.

Anyway, in regards to my post earlier this week, I very pro-nursing. I have nursed all my babies. I was very lucky to be able to easily. I have a lot of sincere sympathy for those who had difficulties nursing their babies. However, at the same time I don't judge moms who chose to bottle feed their babies.

[With one exception...if you chose not to nurse your children because you wanted to preserve your lovely breasts and didn't want your baby to ruin them (you may giggle and say who does that, but my ex-sister in law did just that and was very verbal about it) then I think your a selfish woman. But aside from that, everyone has their reasons for what they do.]

I provoked what one of my readers called "the mommy wars" by being angry that there is no education in regards to possible tooth decay with nursing. I had one person share links that 'prove' breast milk can not cause decay and was told by the same person I was going to cause hysteria. Wow. Really?

All I want is someone to make a flyer that is put in those bags we get when we go to the OB/GYN and the ones we get when we come home from the hospital with our new baby. A flyer that says, "Babies who fall asleep nursing have a high chance of developing tooth decay. To prevent decay and promote healthy habits in the future, wipe your babies gums and teeth off after nursing." And to mention its important to take your child to the dentist at 1 year of age. Its a quick and easy appointment more for introducing your child to the dentist and a quick check to make sure there are no problems with babies teeth.


I don't think that I am discouraging nursing or causing hysteria by saying that or by what I said last Tuesday.

A Must Read for Moms and Moms to be ~~BABY TEETH and NURSING~~

My adorable baby boy is in the other room with the dentist and anesthesiologist having his poor little baby teeth fixed while I freak the hell out all by myself out here in the waiting room.

He sat on my lap to have the mask on his face that initially knocked him out. I knew what was going to happen, but I had no idea how much it would emotionally effect me. I am a freaking basket-case! I had to stay in the room and watch them hook him up to the monitors and have his IV put in, just so I would know he was truly okay.

The dentist did the x-rays and said the fillings would take less than an hour and all things look pretty good as far as what he was expecting to have to do. That's all good. Our dentist is an amazing guy and has been wonderful to not only our children but to me as well. Not once has he let me feel responsible for my baby's poor teeth.

Of course I did research into why one of my five children has such bad tooth decay. We brush his teeth 2-3 times a day (sometimes more)! Yes, he eats sugary things on occasion (the dentist said that actually foods like goldfish crackers are worse on their teeth than candy. He said when kids eat candy we are aware and make sure to brush their teeth, but with foods that crumble and pack into their teeth like goldfish crackers we [parents] don't think anything of it. So the crumbs stay packed into the crevice's of their teeth and boom cavity!).

I found through my research that yes, everyone has different levels of tooth strength which is a factor as to why he has a decay problem and my other children didn't. Everyone has heard of bottle mouth, right? Those kids that are allowed to have bottles in bed and fall asleep with them in their mouths so that the milk (or juice) just sits in their mouths rotting their little teeth while they sleep. But guess what? It turns out that babies can get nursers mouth which is just like bottle mouth! Are you kidding me? You think that by nursing your baby you are giving him the best. You are giving him everything his little body could possibly need by nursing and not bottle feeding.

On that subject, isn't it an interesting double edged sword? If you nurse your baby society (as a group) approves, however doesn't want to observe the mother nursing their baby anywhere. (Even when a mother isn't nursing but someone perceives that she is, then they are offended.) But if you don't nurse your baby then society judges you as being a selfish mother who is obviously more concerned with vanity than her child's welfare. We all know this is a bunch of crap. There are so many reasons on both sides of each option. The easiest of which are: nursing = health of the baby, connection, cost, ease ~~ bottle = connection for father and mother, health of the mother (medications and such), mobility and convenience, and of course inability to nurse. Now those are just off the top of my head, of course there are many many more. This is one of those areas people are very emotionally connected to. Extreme pro-nursing moms (and non moms, which is kinda creepy) can honestly get a bit activist on you if you give off a vibe that 'they' perceive as morally wrong. (Perception is everything and with a whack-job, you really need to be careful what you are communicating!)

But I digress, the point I am making is that I had no idea I could be harming my little guy! I am a stay at home mother so nursing was an obvious choice for me. I never had any issues with nursing my children, it was always easy (and for that I am lucky). My twins were very big babies and I was only able to nurse them for 4 months. To me that wasn't very long, but I am told that it was great for twins. I am sure there are moms of multiples who have done better (but hey my twins were 7lbs 8oz and 7lbs 12oz when they were born) and I am sure their are moms of multiples who wish they could have gone that long. My oldest went 14 months, and Ethan went over that (lets not get into that part for this post). We do the best we can as mothers.

And that's what I thought I was doing...and I sure hope that the health benefits my son received from nursing will far outweigh this horrible dental problem in the long run. But I am still very angry I didn't know he could get 'nursers mouth'. I am pissed I didn't know 'nursers mouth' existed! I consider myself a fairly intelligent woman, I am a college graduate,  and I have 5 kids. Being a parent isn't new to me, so how is it that this is something I missed?

The dentist and I had a long conversation about it while Ethan was sleeping in my arms. He said that this is one of the reasons that the age a child should see their dentist for the first time has changed to 1 year old. That's too late though. He said it is a tough issue because pro-nursing 'people' don't want anything negative associated with nursing said or printed. Well this isn't negative unless its ignored and people aren't educated about it! There needs to be a pamphlet at the OB/GYN and the Pediatricians that says hey, nursing is great but you need to wipe your babies teeth off with a gentle cloth afterwards when they fall asleep nursing. Brushing their teeth 2-5 times a day won't help if they fall asleep nursing. Is that so hard? This doesn't sound like a reason not to nurse at all. It is a precaution and education. They have fliers for EVERYTHING else, why not this?!

The dentist just came out and asked me what I wanted to do about the 4 front teeth. It is worse than he thought when reading the x-rays. CRAP! Three of his teeth have decay in the back and are very close to his nerve roots (baby teeth are so small that the nerves are much closer than in adult teeth), so they would need root canals or they would need to be pulled. Doing a root canal on a toddler is no guarantee they will be able to keep their tooth. There is a high rate of complications and then the tooth may have to be pulled anyway. We had already decided to pull one of them earlier because he knew it was to close to the nerve. So now what do I say? (I am typing so I obviously already answered, but that was how I felt when he was asking). He wanted to know if I wanted all 4 front teeth pulled!

Oh my God! I am the worst mother ever!!! How in the world did he get this bad? Did his little teeth hurt him every day before we got to this point? It took a month to make the appointment once the dentist said it was time and before that we came in every 6 weeks for the last year monitoring his teeth and applying fluoride to them. I did exactly what the dentist instructed me to do, since we have been seeing him after Ethan turned 1 year old.  The dentist waited as long as he felt was safe because he was trying to avoid the general anesthesia.

So, we are keeping the front tooth that is okay. I can't imagine pulling it just to make it look better (how much better could it look, he is having 3 front teeth pulled!). Who does that? Apparently some do, because he said, "some parents prefer to have them all pulled so it doesn't look funny". That's pretty messed up. He needs that front tooth to help him with his speech. He will probably need speech therapy anyway, but without any top front teeth he wouldn't be able to talk at all.

I keep telling myself that we brush his teeth 2-5 times a day (every day is different as it depends on how many times he eats). What else could I have done???? Other than the now obvious wipe his teeth after he nursed every time? I wish I had known! It sounds like common sense now...but I thought brushing 2-5 times a day would cover that. I wonder if it is worse because he stopped using a binky after 3 months? Does using a binky help the baby swallow the milk in their mouths? If that's true than there is another good reason to give babies binkies.

Aftrer our first appointment at the dentist I found these really neat and useful baby teeth cloths. I started doing research on why Ethan's teeth were so bad and was trying to understand what I had done wrong. I wish I had known about them before he got his teeth!

I think I am posting this more for information sake rather than my sanity. PLEASE, PLEASE let everyone you know, to wipe or brush their babies teeth after nursing every night. Its not enough to brush 2 to however many times daily.

I guess for Halloween this year, Ethan can be a hockey player. All we will need is a hockey stick, a jersey, and maybe a helmet.

All kidding aside, those tooth tissues that are made for baby gums and teeth I mentioned earlier are a great idea and were invented by a husband and wife who are also dentists. When I originally posted this morning I didn't have the link or the information. I do now and have added the information.

Here is the link! Now keep in mind a soft cloth will work just as well since these wipes aren't cheap, but sometimes having a product for a specific use can remind us to use them. Tooth Tissues,  they are also carried at online stores like CSN . I plan to promote them to everyone and anyone I can without any compensation other than the comfort of knowing I may help a mother and baby avoid what Ethan and I went through today.




MY RESPONSE TO A NON-MILITANT MOMS COMMENT LEFT ON MY POST:

I highly considered deleting the previous comment on here from 'A Non-militant mom' simply because she accused me of being uninformed and that I would cause hysteria (leaving links that support whaterver her opinion is). She must have felt some strong reason to 'miss the forrest throught the trees' in my post...but not strong enough to leave a way to contact her and discuss it.
I have since changed the settings here just because if you want to tell me my personal experience is all wrong and I am going to cause a panic then at least have the fortitude to identify yourself.
Interestingly enough it sounds as though she doesn't want nursing moms to know that their babies can get tooth decay. Isn't that one of the things I wrote about? My dentist clearly said that anything negative associated with nursing was fought by extreme pro-nursing people. Even though nursing is not negative and tooth decay is not a reason not to nurse! So I guess I found myself an activist pro-nurser that I mentioned in my post.
Okay. Well I am leaving it because I am not wrong in my personal experience. It happened to my son. One out of five children who nursed in our home. Thats 20% in my house and that's enough of a reason to fire me up and get the word out to take precautions. That's it, precautions!
Take your child to the dentist at age 1 (its a short appointment introducing baby to dentist and a quick check of the teeth) and wipe your babies teeth off as they are sleeping in your arms after they nursed. That's it. Doesn't sound like panic or hysteria to me. Does it to you?

Temptation of Discounted Prices Everywhere

I have found many, many blogs to read and follow in the last few months. My personal favorites are the ones that actually write and make me laugh. However, there are also those blogs that do great reviews and list incredible discounts currently available. I read these blogs when their post preview intrigues me. Most of the discounts and reviews are on products I didn't even know existed. And there lies the problem...I want way too much stuff. Stuff I probably don't need, but is really cool.



https://stephanievan.scentsy.us/Home

 I stumbled across a really cool item tonight, its called a Scentsy Buddy. Its a stuffed animal with a pouch that holds your choice of scent packets. How cool is that? Pretty cool. Problem is it wouldn't be for me, it would be for my toddler or maybe my 7 year old (she doesn't have nearly enough stuffed animals, that was sarcasm). And would my toddler or 7 year old really want a stuffed animal with a strong fragrance of my our choice? LIGHTBULB...I just had a thought, maybe this would be a great gift for a teen who's room can smell a bit gamey?

I am going to go off on a ramble for a moment...last weekend one of the tweens had a friend over. They were upstairs in my daughters room playing on the computer and listening to music for a couple of hours. I went up to get them for dinner and when my daughter opened the door I was hit with a whoosh of rather sickly air. So as I normally do I said, "ewww, what is that smell? Are you feeling okay?" (I think you can get what I was asking her...she did.) Her reply was, "uh, Mom. Its just her (pointing at her friend)". Oh, okay. Her friend just kind of shrugged and looked a bit embarrassed, but not mortified. "Okay, its dinner time", And the door closes.

So when they came downstairs, I nicely told her friend that body odor happens to everyone and its no big deal. I gave her a stick of deodorant (because we shop at Costco I had plenty on hand and obviously she didn't) and then proceeded to embarrass my daughter (so I was told anyway). I grabbed a couple of baby wipes and handed them to her friend and said just a quick clean up and then the deodorant...should do the trick (with hand gestures of course).

Now here is my question;  How on earth did me suggesting to this girl to clean up and put deodorant on embarrass her more than my daughter saying that the stink in her room was her friend? I was very nice, very laid back, and as it does happen to everyone at that age I explained it was no big deal. I would think that going around smelling of BO as a tween would be more embarrassing than what I did to help. If I had a funk and was oblivious to it my friends or family better damn well let me know! I would expect honesty from them.

Now my other question is, How can a mother allow her child to go around smelling? Of course my oldest answered it best by responding with, "well maybe they all have BO so no one notices it". Okay, maybe. But when you leave your house of funk, you would notice the non-smelling people as non-smelling right?

I have rambled for far too long on a subject I never intended to write about. :0) Do me a favor, if you have tweens and or teens don't let them stink please.

So this Scentsy Buddy would be cool to disguise the odors of friends who's parents don't buy them deodorant. But aside from that I really can't think of a practical child use.
I still want one.

(If I have stuffed animals on my bed that's okay because I am already married right?)

I actually purchased two items in the last month that we didn't need but are fun. Both of these items were from Amazon.com and were shipped with the free shipping they have.

The first was a Cuisinart Ice Cream maker. It was marked down from $90 to $37 (shipped) and it worked out great as a 'for us' anniversary gift. We have made ice cream three times. The first my husband did while I was sick in bed (he is so awesome and helps a lot. I am just throwing that in there because I don't say it enough). He put a little too much vanilla in, but in his defense he had no idea how strong that real Tahitian Vanilla would be. Our son loved it and over the week ate most of it. The second time I made ice cream. I used a custard recipe. Lets just say it was very custardy. (Yeah,probably  not a word but that's what it tasted like). My son wouldn't even eat a spoonful. The third time was tonight, with 1/2 a teaspoon vanilla it turned out great! We use half and half instead of heavy whipping cream and low fat milk instead of whole milk. I have to say for $37, making ice cream out of half and half, milk and sugar is a great deal (tastes pretty awesome too). 

The second thing I bought this month is a Thomas the Train Trike. It was $45 and we got it shipped for $15. I can't wait for it to get here, my son is going to have a blast riding it around. Its plastic so he will be able to ride it inside the house until winter is over. Then we can move outside.

.

There is a necklace that I want to get each of my girls, it has their birthstone, their name engraved on them, and an additional charm of your choosing. They are really beautiful and yet very wearable for teens and tweens. The woman who sells (and makes) them even offered me a discount since I will need 4 of them. (that's even better!) Need...see? I don't need them at all, but they are so beautiful. If I hadn't been surfing my daily blogs I would never know they existed and wouldn't need them. I will however at the very least wait for a special occasion to get them.

These are from Patty at Embracelets Designs you can see them on her blog or check out her Etsy shop here . She has some incredible stuff that I would love to have.


Now to be fair, I have also found some great money saving things from the many blogs I read. Last night I texted At&t with the word "yes" to 1113020 and received 1,000 free rollover minutes. That's pretty cool. I understand it works for iPhone and blackberry users (although I would try it even if I didn't have a smart phone, just for the hell of it). No idea how long that will last, but try it.


Believe it or not, I am not getting anything for any of the above information. I only linked the Scentsy Buddy and necklaces because I think they are cool and want them for myself. Do you have anything you found that you don't need but would love to have? I bet that I will think of at least 3 more things I want that I didn't include here when I hit post.

(I just read over my post and realized I said 'that's pretty cool' way too many times... I think I need another Percocet and sleep. Night all!)

I have an additional link to add for another Scentsy connection. My sister's friend in Indiana also sells Scentsy stuff at https://beths.scentsy.us/Home